So ..
It's 5:00 am. and im here talking to Desiderio on msn. My boyfriend is offline for one hour ..we fought a lot today, by net. I can't help it. He's going away. He's going to leave me again. How can he do this?
He already gone away from me once ..almost three months ..why is he doing this?
I mean I know I'm not the best girlfriend in the world, but he's not an easy person as well ..sometimes I just feel that we dont belong together, but then I see that it's not like that ..we have a stupid huge connection ..it's a waste of time try to deny it.
I feel like writing ..I love him more than anything in life ..I just feel that he doesnt feel the same way about me ..at least anymore. And yes I've been mean. Sometimes [ many times ] more than I should, and he his patient & tries to deal with me.
I'm scared of losing people ..since I was a child ..I always felt like ..I somehow lost the ones that I loved the most ..there's a thing with my father and ..my grandfather ..I never liked my mum or my grandmother that much ..I mean I admire my gradma, she was a very beautiful woman when she was young and all that ..but she wasnt that great in mind stuff. My grandfather was a little cruel, in spite of being a good hearted people. He was always ready to help everyone who needed it. He is a great man and I feel happy to be his grandchild. =]
Now back to my boyfriend ..yeah ..he's my first and only boyfriend ..he's the only guy I have ever kissed and said "I love" to, in my entire life. We started to date in 13/10/2004 ..it's a long time ..I feel like ..he's really part of me ..something like my brains, my heart, my face ..he's inside of me ..I'm not strong enough ..I need him so much ..
If he's gone I wont cry ..but I'll spend most of my days gazing at nowhere, eating chocolates, on my couch or bed, getting nostalgic ..
I dont want to lose him ..
Well ..right now waiting until 8:00 am to find outto which college I go ..
Waiting with Desiderio ..
He already gone away from me once ..almost three months ..why is he doing this?
I mean I know I'm not the best girlfriend in the world, but he's not an easy person as well ..sometimes I just feel that we dont belong together, but then I see that it's not like that ..we have a stupid huge connection ..it's a waste of time try to deny it.
I feel like writing ..I love him more than anything in life ..I just feel that he doesnt feel the same way about me ..at least anymore. And yes I've been mean. Sometimes [ many times ] more than I should, and he his patient & tries to deal with me.
I'm scared of losing people ..since I was a child ..I always felt like ..I somehow lost the ones that I loved the most ..there's a thing with my father and ..my grandfather ..I never liked my mum or my grandmother that much ..I mean I admire my gradma, she was a very beautiful woman when she was young and all that ..but she wasnt that great in mind stuff. My grandfather was a little cruel, in spite of being a good hearted people. He was always ready to help everyone who needed it. He is a great man and I feel happy to be his grandchild. =]
Now back to my boyfriend ..yeah ..he's my first and only boyfriend ..he's the only guy I have ever kissed and said "I love" to, in my entire life. We started to date in 13/10/2004 ..it's a long time ..I feel like ..he's really part of me ..something like my brains, my heart, my face ..he's inside of me ..I'm not strong enough ..I need him so much ..
If he's gone I wont cry ..but I'll spend most of my days gazing at nowhere, eating chocolates, on my couch or bed, getting nostalgic ..
I dont want to lose him ..
Well ..right now waiting until 8:00 am to find outto which college I go ..
Waiting with Desiderio ..
posted by Aetereas at 9:03 PM
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